I have a question or two.
First, is the Ice Bucket Challenge
officially over? As I scroll through my Facebook News Feed, I've
stopped seeing the signature stills of people standing on grass next
to buckets. I've stopped seeing the reports of the skyrocketing
donations to the ALS Foundation. I've stopped seeing the links to
articles about the terror of ALS and testimonials from grateful
patients. I've stopped seeing the Ice Bucket Challenge haters and the
angry comment wars in their wake.
Lastly, I've stopped seeing the
well-intentioned sermons from the seemingly diehard
believers-in-the-cause. These true believers have stopped wagging
fingers at me for not participating, stopped preaching the
saintliness of those countless everyday folks who experienced
voluntary mild discomfort while their sisters-in-law filmed with
iPhones. The hype surrounding this bubble of charitable awesomeness
seems to have finally burst.
So my second question is for those
diehard Ice Bucket Preachers. My question for you is....where are you
donating now?
What's your new cause? Who are you
dying to save from dying today? Did you do the research and learn
about the horrors of Breast Cancer? Or AIDS across the world? Or
Heart Disease- there's a big one! Maybe you want to combat hunger
next- there are millions of food insecure Americans. I don't need to
tell you- you must've read up on that for several hours. I'm only
making these assumptions, Mr. Diehard Ice Preacher, because you
seemed so passionate a few weeks ago. You made me believe that you
were in this for the good of your fellow man, rather than for a
chance to post a video of your goofy stunt for all your friends to
watch. Was I wrong? I hope I wasn't. I thought you really cared. You
made me believe.
And I can't blame you for getting upset
about the Disease Formerly Known As Lou Gehrig's- ALS is a terrible
disease that kills nearly 7,000 people in the United States every
year. The patient stories are horrific. At first, most people notice
difficulty using their arms or legs. ALS gets into your central
nervous system and makes even the smallest muscle movements feel like
a chore. Motor functions become impaired, first slightly and then
severely. By the disease's final stages, patients cannot talk, chew
food, or even breathe- the cause of death for ALS patients is usually
respiratory failure.
What a horrible way to die. But out of
that horror came the Ice Bucket Challenge! What a testament to
humanity! Awful stories like these have moved us to help our fellow
man and make our society better, and collectively, we raised over 100
million dollars! Less people will die because of us humans and our
efforts. It's a beautiful thing! But my mind moves past that beauty
when I think about that number: 7,000 people....
That's right, almost 7,000 people die
from ALS every year......but Prostate Cancer kills over 20,000. Oh,
boy. Prostate Cancer, that cancer that every man wishes he didn't
have to get checked for. Too bad we can't check ourselves for
Prostate Cancer, the way women check themselves for Breast Cancer.
Breast Cancer! That kills....over 40,000 people every year.
And those are only two types of cancer. Cancer is like a bad bouncer
that lets way too many people into the party that is your body. They
just keep filling up the room, packing it tighter and tighter, until
eventually the punch gets knocked over, the sound system gets
smashed, and someone's ass bumps the light switch. Most people in
America are familiar with cancer, unfortunately, due to personal
experience. The lump. The biopsy. The phone calls to family and
friends, and the tears. The sitting in waiting rooms and lying in
Operating Rooms and, all too often, visiting funeral homes. My mother
got Breast Cancer in 2010. For me, it was pacing around in my
apartment in Thailand while mom was in surgery, waiting for online
messages from my brothers and sisters telling me everything was OK
(my mother repeatedly insisted that I stay at my job overseas rather
than fly home to her). My mother survived, and I'm extremely grateful
for that. In the past year, more than 40,000 other Breast Cancer
patients haven't been so lucky.
While this all might seem very tragic,
the story gets even worse. More than 140,000 people in the U.S. die
from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (that's lung problems,
mostly from smoking). Almost 600,000 die from Heart Disease (that's
cholesterol problems, mostly from overeating). Are you feeling
hungry? The starving people of the world are, and their numbers make
ours look like a joke. Over 900 million people
are presently undernourished or malnourished in the world. Five
million children every year die of malnutrition. FIVE MILLION
CHILDREN- PER YEAR. If this zero:
0
represents
all the people that die in the U.S. from ALS every year, here's how
many children in the world die of starvation every year:
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Is it time to do something,
oh Mighty Protector of Mankind, oh Grand Ice Master of the Internet?
Have you come up with a clever gimmick to fix it? Does it involve
camera phones, heavy buckets, and Youtube?
I promise I'm not trying to dump on you
(zing), Reverend Ice Preacher. I know your heart is in the right
place. I know ALS is terrible and you just found this out and
you want to make a difference! And
I applaud that. It's what makes you human! Be proud of that part of
yourself. If you gave money to the ALS cause, that's incredibly
awesome. My humble request is that you DO
IT AGAIN.
Give
money every month, whatever you can afford. Diversify your donations
if you can. There are plenty of worthy causes- disease, hunger,
education, medicine. The list goes on. The money isn't for your
conscience, and it's not for your social media street cred (although
those can be added bonuses). The money really does
something. It makes a physical difference. Can we please recognize
that, and continue the difference?
Can't the terrible suffering in the world hold our attention longer
than a 50 second video clip? Can we please stop letting our barometer
of human decency and empathy be determined by a silly online fad? Can
we care, regardless of whether our 800 Facebook friends are going to
hear about it?
At the
beginning of the ALS Challenge, I posted an article to my Facebook
entitled, “Stop Dumping Ice on your Head. Just Give Money.” I
would like to provide my own personal spin on that article title.
Here it is:
Do
whatever you feel like doing, including dumping ice on your head.
Also, give money. Regularly.
It's
not that difficult, y'all. All it takes is a few of the spare coins
in your pocket per day. I know that some of us just can't afford to
donate- poverty in the U.S. is worth an article several times this
long. But even if the richer half of America (about 160 million
people) gave just $5 more per month each, the coffers of charity
around the globe would earn an extra 9.6
billion dollars per year.
Yep, that's billion with
a B. And the cost to you is just one single Venti Doubleshot Latte
per month. Imagine that!
So
donate, and keep doing it. Don't be beholden to fads or popularity
contests, but don't hesistate to enjoy them either. Take a little
time to research who you're giving your money to first- like with any
other investment. And by all means, once you've donated, go ahead and
brag about it on your Facebook if you want. Take a picture of the
check. Make a video of yourself mailing it. Do jumping jacks, or
twerk, or absolutely dump ice on your head. Whatever gets the job
done. People are dying. It's worth it to them.
I
did not write this article in order to plug any specific charities,
but here are a few that I have researched to my own satisfaction and
that I donate to regularly (just $5 or $10 when my budget allows).
Don't
take my word for it- check out the details about these and thousands
of other charities at www.charitynavigator.org
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